3.5.1.2: Active Listening Activity
- Page ID
- 15632
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Please take a few minutes to watch the two humorous videos below, then write a short two minute essay.
Bad Listeners (2:52)
Everybody Loves Raymond Uses Active Listening - from Parent Effectiveness Training (2:58)
Check Your Understanding: Two Minute Essay
Take a few minutes to reflect on each of the videos above. Consider why each video was either a good example or a bad example of active listening and explain why. Keep in mind the three techniques and the guidelines presented on previous pages in this lesson.
- Click for Answer
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Answer:
Video #1:
In your response you should have noted that Sheldon
- Was not focused on Leonard, the speaker
- Nonverbal cues we're only about himself, i.e., no eye contact
- Dismissed Leonard's attempt to talk because it didn't affect him personally
- Initially did not acknowledge that Leonard was even speaking and continued to sound frustrated that Leonard wanted to talk at all
- Interrupted Leonard repeatedly
- Kept taking back control of the time clock not giving Leonard time to speak
- Talked over Leonard
- Conveyed no interest in what Leonard was saying
- Did not restate Leonard's basic concerns or paraphrase Leonard's words; instead stated "beats me" or "I hear you brother" or "it sucks to be you"
- Did not reflect back Leonard's basic feeling to indicate understanding
- No attempt to validate the worthiness of Leonard's problems
- Did not use voice intonations or questions such as "can you tell me more?" to provide encouragement for Leonard to keep talking
- Judgment: made assumption that Leonard's problem was simple, i.e., "blonde women"
Note that Leonard:
- States, "Is it possible we're having two different conversations?"
- Through the use of a chess time clock attempted to provide avenue for each to listen to the other
- Made a sincere effort to listen and reflect back to Sheldon
- In total frustration, gives up trying to have a conversation
Video #2
- Raymond walks into a situation where his wife is interrogating their daughter and getting nowhere and encourages her to use active listening skills
- Although she attempts, Raymond interrupts and points out that she should reflect back and not be judgmental—two important active listening skills, paraphrasing and non-judgmental
- Raymond then takes over and does the following:
- Gets down on his daughter’s level and makes direct eye contact—this demonstrates interest and full attention on her
- Demonstrates empathy by recognizing and stating to his daughter the reasons behind her feeling of anger
- Reflects that the giraffe was still special to his daughter even though she wasn’t playing with it
- Takes ownership that mommy and daddy made a mistake by not asking their daughter before giving the giraffe to Michael
- Outcome:
- The daughter wants to fix the giraffe and give it to Michael
- Following:
- Raymond:
- Acts pompous—he's the fixer
- Is not empathetic to his wife—"Don't worry, you'll get it."
- Then uses empathy stating his wife feels inadequate
- She rejects the "active listening crap"
- Raymond:
Example of effective active listening:
Leadership Training - Active Listening (2:21)
- Was not focused on Leonard, the speaker